Is an electroshock device really a good gift?

November 01, 2016

My husband (the caveman) gave me a handheld electroshock device for my birthday. Nothing else. Really? Is this what gift giving has come to? Am I the only one who gets crazy, inappropriate gifts from the man I love?

Let me explain the gift. It's a device to shock your body into relaxation. It's for stress and discomfort. It's cheap, probably made in China and looks kind of dangerous. I think I saw a guy selling them in the airport terminal. I definitely saw it in the in-flight magazine that sells cheesy stuff you only buy at the end of a long flight after too many drinks.

So as I am opening my gift (I mean, taking it out of the bag, caveman forgot how to wrap about ten years ago) I don't know what to say. I can't find the right words. I’m thinking “are you kidding? You caused most of the stress that requires electroshock” I’m also thinking “is this thing safe? Couldn’t you at least have put it in a paper bag instead of plastic?”

I love the caveman , so instead I said “wow,  just what I need! Why don't you hook me up and see if it works? Thanks honey!.“

What happened to him? When we first started dating, his gifts were great. Many of you know I have a thing for Seaman Schepps jewelry, and I got at least one pair of earrings while we were dating. Early marriage gifts were still fairly good. I got a beautiful watch and a few other nice things, but I should have seen the decline coming. At some point, we crossed into a zone where jewelry and things got replaced with more “functional” gifts.

I don't remember saying I wanted to learn golf, why was I being given clubs instead of jewelry to celebrate the birth of our first son ? Did I scream that while in labor? How about that rolling pin? What a revolutionary design! A kitchen utensil, seriously? Giving a woman something for the kitchen, unless she is a professional chef, is like giving a man a plunger.

Finding the right gift can be hard, I get that, no argument here. But how about a little effort? When did buying a gift the day you're giving it say “I put a lot of thought into this.”  Cmon! Seriously! I’m fed up.

So many friends are giving my necklaces as gifts, and they’re always a big hit. I am happy to do an exchange if the person getting the gift would rather a different style or color, but you know what? I rarely have to make an exchange because women are great gift givers! We know what our best friends favorite color is, or what styles they like. We take the time to find something they are not expecting but will love when they open it. How hard is that? Not that hard.

New Holiday designs will be released in a few days. Send your caveman to me and I will help him out for the holidays, next birthday, or anniversary .

Oh and feel free to post your worst gift ever :)

Big Hugs, Heidi

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